Lies, Spies and Snowball Fights
by sweeteggyroll
Summary: I think the title covers the story fairly well. Edd/Eddy Slash
1. Snowcones, of all things!

A note (or two): This takes place after the movie! If you haven't seen the Ed Edd n Eddy movie, you HAVE to see it (try youtube); it is SO good. Johnny is not in this story cuz I didn't like how he went crazy at the end of the movie... sorry. Also, this is my first eene fanfic, so please be gentle!

This is a **slash** story with romantic LOVE between Edd and Eddy. If you are against this pairing, or slash/homosexuality in general, please do not read this fanfic!

LIES, SPIES, AND SNOWBALL FIGHTS by SWEETEGGROLL

Chapter One; "Snowcones, of all things!"

It was an average, wintry day in the Peach Creek cul-de-sac. The morning sun crept into the clear sky, causing the frost among the bare trees to shimmer in its wake. On the ground was a thick blanket of snow, freshly fallen the night before.

The white ground gave way under Eddy's feet with a gentle whispering sound as he walked in reverse circles in front of his house, trying to hurriedly zip up a brand new jacket.

"This stupid thing!" He grunted loudly as he violently pulled against the stuck zipper. "I TOLD her that I wanted the black one! Purple is sucha… sissy color!"

Ed beamed as he watched his friend struggle with his new, very purple jacket. "All brawn and no brains makes Eddy a dull boy," he dared to comment, and then even loomed over the short boy with a silly grin and said; "Have you tried asking nicely?"

"Ask…" Eddy looked stumped. "My JACKET? ED, jackets don't TALK you idiot!"

But before he saw it coming, Ed had leaned over in front of him, cupping the sides of his mouth as he whispered to the rebellious zipper. Eddy rolled his eyes in agitation and turned away from him abruptly, rapidly zipping up his jacket. He froze in his place in surprise, but upon hearing Ed chuckle behind him, brushed away the tiny miracle. "Let's go get Double D."

The two trudged through the foot of snow to Edd's house. Eddy kept trying to warm his face with his gloves while Ed never seemed to tire of watching his breath materialize in front of him.

"Look Eddy! This one looks like a bunny!"

"Yeah, yeah." Eddy ignored him and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He shrugged his shoulders trying to warm his ears while he gave his friend a command. "Go ring the doorbell, Ed."

"Four steps ahead of ya, Eddy!" was all he said before a snowball whizzed past Eddy and smacked into the doorbell.

"Sweet aim, Lumpy!"

"Ding Dong!" Ed yelled as he slugged another handful of snow. This time, it hit a window.

"Ding Dong!" Another snowball plowed into the doorbell and they heard another obnoxiously musical tone from inside Double D's house.

On cue, the nearly adolescent boy wearing the usual black hat and an unusual red sweater with a reindeer on it opened his front door with a bemused look on his face. "What on earth are you-"

"Ding Dong!" Another snowball jetted past Eddy and smacked Double D in the face.

Eddy was in tears, laughing loudly at the sight while Ed choked back his own amusement. Although he felt somewhat apologetic, it was still pretty darn funny.

Unimpressed, Double D single-handedly wiped the snow from his face. "Who didn't see that one coming," he said nonchalantly. Regaining his composure, he continued; "I'm sure you two understand by now that every weekend is reserved for a particularly increased number of sticky notes in this household. Therefore, I cannot attend you two today, that is, until I'm finished."

"What the heck are you talkin' about??" Eddy groaned. "You're seriously STILL being punished? It's been over a month already!"

Double D's shoulders drooped a little as he confessed; "It seems my parents were a little stricter than I had previously determined… Considering that I returned home safely should have eased their minds the slightest, but I guess I was wrong. They're just afraid I'll do it again, I imagine."

Ed started to shake as fear coursed through him. "Never again!" He started to remember how his mother took away his tub of gravy, his comic books, and bolted his door and window for an entire two weeks. He dropped to his knees in the snow, lost in his own memories. "We will never scam again Mom! I promise!"

The thought went through Eddy's mind briefly. He considered helping Double D finish his pile of sticky-noted chores so they could get a head start on their "youthful entrepreneurship," as he now liked to call it… now that the term "scam" is technically forbidden in the cul-de-sac.

"We'll let's get it over with, then." Eddy said, shouldering his way into his pal's house.

Double D smiled warmly and touched his chest. His heart swelled to see that his friends would take the time to help him with his own chores, but just as soon as he smiled, anxiety took over and he jumped to stop Eddy. "Wh-why Eddy, I'm flattered that you'd offer your assistance, however…" he trailed off, thinking about what had happened the last time he left Eddy unsupervised in his house with unattended sticky notes.

Eddy casually brushed Double D's hand off of his shoulder and let himself out. "Fine then. Who needs ya." He grabbed Ed by the collar and dragged him along through the snow. "C'mon Ed, we'll do it all ourselves."

"Let's make gravy cakes, Eddy."

"Shut up Ed."

"G-gentlemen, if you'd just wait ten or fifteen minutes I should be done by then!" But the other two continued walking unfazed. Double D harrumphed and shut his door, intending on finishing up those sticky notes.

~*

"Alright peoples," Eddy announced to the snowy cul-de-sac, leaning over a scantily made booth, "Get 'em while they're hot!"

"You nean throthen, Etty." Ed corrected him with a snowcone stuck to his blue, hanging tongue.

"Who asked you?" Eddy demanded, pulling the long blue tongue until it snapped back into Ed's mouth; "You're s'posed to be makin' more snowcones, Ed!"

"But Eddy, what about the flavoring??"

Eddy pondered for a minute or two, then said: "KEWL-AID!" He made a snowball and hurled it towards Ed's house, "Fetch, Ed!"

Ed panted like an excited dog and chased after the snowball, eventually launching at his house and smashing into his front door. A minute later, he emerged from the wreckage with packets of Kewl-aid, "I got it, Eddy!"

As the boy ran back on all fours with the packets of flavored sugar in his mouth, his sister appeared in the remains of what once was her front door and growled. She was in her pink faux-satin pajamas and slippers with a glass of milk in her hand, vibrating as her fist clenched with anger.

"ED! YOU IDIOT! You let all the cold air in!"

Ed looked back as he handed the Kewl-aid to an excited Eddy and said; "I'm sorry Sarah!"

"You better fix it or I'm telling MOM!"

"NO don't tell mom, baby sister!" Ed started running towards his house saying, "I'll fix it!" but Eddy grabbed the back of his coat, pulling him back.

"Ed! Get over here and make those snowcones!"

"ED!"

"Snowcones, NOW!"

"I'M TELLING MOM!"

In a panic, a sweating Ed grabbed the wooden sign which said 'Snowcones!!!' and ripped it off of the top of the booth, distracting Eddy.

"You're wreckin' my props!" Eddy yelled as he watched a good ten minutes of hard labor go to waste.

Ed ran over to his house hurriedly with the hunk of wood. He quickly fastened it where his door once was as Sarah stood silently and watched with her arms crossed. "That's better." She approved. "Now make me breakfast!"

Ed opened the makeshift door and glared at Sarah. "You're a big girl Sarah, make your own breakfast."

Eddy stood there steaming in anger as he watched Sarah, yet again, distract Ed from his extremely important sca-… er, "enterprise". The snow started to melt around his feet as he burned with rage. He watched Ed's spoiled little sister yank him into the house. Now, all that Eddy had was a screwed up booth, an empty supply of snowcones, a couple of worthless packets of Kewl-aid, and worst of all: no customers. Growling, he threw the Kewl-aid in the snow and started to stomp away.

"I give up."

"What's this now?" Double D approached the remnants of a once-shabby, now-unusable snowcone stand.

"Forget it." Eddy groaned, kicking snow at it. "It ain't working out. 'Specially since Sarah took Ed. He was gonna make all the snowcones."

Double D laughed, shielding his mirth with a mitten, "Snowcones in the winter? Well, that's preposterous!"

"What're you laughin' at Sockhead?"

"Well," he said over one last chuckle, "you won't get any customers until you appeal to your audience, Eddy. That's what entrepreneurship is all about."

Eddy glared at Double D, "And where've you been anyway? If you got out here sooner it probably would've saved us a lot of time! You coulda told me that half an hour ago."

"Well, Eddy," Double D explained as he fixed up the stall, "if only your patience allowed you to wait just a few more minutes we could have worked on a more promising business arrangement together. But no, you had to go out on your own and set up a…" he chuckled again, "snowcone booth. Really, Eddy, what convinced you that people would want to buy snowcones when it's just barely ten degrees out here?"

As Double D continued to lecture him, he failed to notice that Eddy had taken a small icicle off of a nearby tree and was holding it his gloved hand. In one swift motion, the troublemaking preteen slipped the ice down his friend's collar.

"-focusing on what the customer wants, given the proper ciiirrrcumsstAAANCE!!"

Double D suddenly jumped back, away from Eddy, hastily trying to pry open the back of his jacket with his mittens. "Chilly! Chilly! Chilly!!" he cursed, shivering as he danced about, pulling at the cold spot in his sweater. "E-E-Eddy! What did you--??"

Eddy was trying desperately to hold back laughter as he watched Double D jerk forward with a "Good lord!" Apparently the ice had traveled down to his pants. Double D was frantically shaking his tiny legs, trying to rattle the frozen substance out of place while getting more hearty laughs out of Eddy.

"This isn't funny!" Double D shuddered, his knees shaking, "I could catch a cold!"

As he tried to shake the ice out of his pants, Double D suddenly slipped on the icy snow. He reached out to grasp at whatever was closest to him, which turned out to be Eddy's new jacket, and the two tumbled to the ground. Eddy flopped into the freezing blanket of snow with a hard thud, followed by Double D, whose poofy red-orange jacket made his impact less crushing and more of an annoyance. The boy on the bottom shuffled, trying to push him off, but couldn't seem to find his body in the huge mass of feather-down jacket that surrounded him. Instead, his wettened gloves kept slipping around on the fabric. He gave up and slammed his fists into the snow.

"Hey- get up!" Eddy grunted, "My butt's getting wet."

"S-sorry Eddy!" Double D stammered, quickly trying to stand up, only to slip again and fall against Eddy's chest. "I'm trying-"

"C'mon, Sockhead, you're so weak!" Eddy pushed him up, only to cause Double D to fall on his side and in a tangle of legs, the two of them rolled underneath the snowcone booth.

"Double D!" Eddy growled, now confined between three walls of wood, the snow all over his back, and a sweaty kid squirming on top of him. His angry glare suddenly dissipated and he started laughing, "You're so pathetic!"

"I… what?" Double D appeared startled, almost hurt, looking down at Eddy's face. "Pathetic?!"

Eddy snickered.

"Pathetic?" Double D questioned again, the dejection starting to set in. "I-I mean, I know I'm not very physically built, but…"

"Tch, forget it already will ya?"

"Well, you didn't have to say 'pathetic', Eddy. I'd like to think that I have a few redeeming qualities about my person. The term "pathetic" implies that I'm a... well, a failure, really…"

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Eddy could feel the back of his head getting very wet, but he couldn't summon the words to convey his discomfort. It was either because Double D was starting to weigh on his chest, making it harder to breathe, or because he almost wanted to apologize. The latter was not an option, however… at least not to Eddy. Suddenly, it dawned on him:

"…Are we stuck?"

"I believe we are, Eddy."

"Seriously??" Eddy started squirming again, trying to kick the snowcone stand apart when all of the sudden, Double D tensed up on top of him.

"Your knees are going to hit me!" He panicked, "Calm down Eddy, please!"

Eddy grunted. He was starting to feel the snow seep through his jeans and his butt was getting numb. He looked up at Double D as if saying "Figure a way out of this, will ya".

A thought hit him, and Double D grinned at the new idea. "Unzip me, Eddy."

Eddy just stared at him, completely flabbergasted. He gulped slowly, and breathed; "What??"

"M-my jacket." Double D started to sweat extensively. When did it get so warm? "If we're able to discard of this bulky article of clothing, I'll manage to slip out easily.

Eddy nodded, feeling very uncomfortable as he hurriedly tried to unzip Double D's jacket. He cautiously slipped his arms in between the both of them and felt around for the zipper, trying to avoid touching his friend as much as possible. He reached under Double D's fluffy yellow scarf, which was actually quite annoying and suffocating and felt around his neck for the… stupid… 'Where is that stupid thing??' Eddy thought to himself as his fingers fumbled around the top of the jacket collar. 'AH!' When he finally grabbed the small tab, he started to pull slowly, which caused the scarf to loosen in front of his hands, and a scent wafted into the air around the two of them, one that made him think of honey-scented shampoo.

'Why does he keep staring at me?' Eddy gulped. 'Look away already, geez you're breathing on me! Aw man, why am I so nervous? What's with all this sweat?!' As he shakily tried to unzip his friend, a new scent invaded his personal space. It smelled like lotion; like a spring meadow after a light rain… 'What the hell Double D, boys aren't supposed to smell like that!!'

"Your hands are shaking." Double D noted curiously.

"Shut up!" Eddy barked, "It's cold!"

"Oh I see." Double D said coolly as he looked down at Eddy, who was greatly concentrating on the zipper. Trying to pull it down without actually touching Double D, he essentially tried sucking in his own belly, getting a giggle out of the boy on top of him. "Your cheeks are completely red too. Maybe you should have worn a knit cap."

"There!" Eddy said victoriously, finally unzipping Double D.

The scrawny kid in the poofy jacket pulled his arms out one at a time, and then finally ducked down flat against Eddy, his face pressed against his chest, rousing a noise of embarrassment from the shorter kid beneath him. He gently slid the jacket out with one arm and tossed it onto the snow. Then he slowly rolled off of Eddy, freeing them both from the confines of the shabby snowcone booth.

"Ah~!" Eddy jumped off of the ground and breathed in the cold air, finally able to stretch his legs and stand.

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus," came a goofy voice beside them.

"Ed!" The two boys cried out in unison, frozen to the ground as they stared blankly at their friend. Then one asked: "How long have you been standing there?"

Ed shuffled towards them as he tried to button up his brown, wintry coat. "Since She-Who-Loathes-Burnt-Toast let me back outside, Double D. What were you guys doing under there?"

~*

End of Chapter one. You might have some questions, but the next chapters will provide answers (I hope!) I also hope you enjoyed this chapter~! It was fun to write, and there is more to come my friends. I will try to upload more as soon as I am finished with the entire story, which will hopefully be VERY Soon!! If anyone has any problems with the story I would/might definitely change it for YOU~!

Soon to come in future chapters: more cul-de-sac kids, a messy scam continued, and a sleepover. Thanks for reading! *drinks coffee and continues to write*


	2. What about Dolphins?

Author Note: This is a long chapter! However, the rest of this story is not this long, since I also have ideas for other stories to work on also. Oh, and THANK YOU to everyone that reviewed! You guys made me so excited to continue! I did not expect so many reviews for this story, so thank you very much! Hopefully, the more I write the better I will get.

~*

LIES, SPIES AND SNOWBALL FIGHTS by SWEETEGGROLL

Chapter 2: What About Dolphins?

~*

"Don't you just love the wintry air? Brisk, bracing and bitter… it makes one want to accomplish one's goals, to fulfill one's destiny."

"How about fulfilling this cup, Brainy?" Eddy shoved a styrofoam cup in front of Double D.

After the rather embarrassing encounter and hasty explanations of "Nothing!" and "No, nothing at all!" the trio turned the ruined snowcone booth to a hot chocolate stand. On a makeshift banner made of a small bed sheet were the words 'HOT! Chocolate! HOT!' in bright red marker, which was hanging across where the wooden sign would have been, had it not become Ed's new front door. Eddy was in charge of handling the money, Double D mixed the drinks, and Ed would constantly run back to his house to reheat water in a tea kettle.

For the first ten minutes or so, the Eds would just hang out, drinking their own hot chocolate as Eddy complained about not getting any customers. As the morning prolonged, some of the cul-de-sac kids slowly emerged from their houses, barely awake on such a cold and slow weekend off of school. Sarah was the first to wander outside as she already knew that her brother was doing "something stupid out there" to begin with.

"Hot chocolate, huh?" Sarah glowered over their meager merchandise. "What's in it?"

Double D looked perplexed; "It's just instant cocoa mix."

"What's it to ya," Eddy leaned across the counter. "Twenty-five cents a cup."

Sarah growled. "My brother's in the labor force," she said, stabbing a finger in the direction of Ed, whom was jogging back and forth to his house. "And you're using MY SINK."

"Twenty-five cents!!"

"Don't badger her, Eddy." Double D sounded anxious, and he quickly made a cup of hot chocolate. "Here you are, Sarah, on the house of course."

"Thank you, Double D," she said sweetly with a sarcastic smile as she stared daggers at Eddy.

Eddy glared at the faux bartender. "What'd you do that for??"

Double D rolled his eyes. He really thought Eddy would have learned by now. "Do you WANT our promising endeavor to end up in shambles?"

"Hot chocolate? Choice." Kevin appeared in front of their small booth in his dark blue jacket and the usual red hat. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a quarter.

"SWEET!" Eddy pulled out a jar and held it out to Kevin, who smirked at the nostalgic likeness.

"I'll take a cup," he said, his quarter hovering over the empty jar, "but I get to call you a dork again."

"Give it a rest, Kev." Nazz said, walking up beside him as she slipped her arm around his and giggled when he jumped.

"Hey Nazz," he said casually, as if he knew she was there all along, "want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure." She tucked away a loose strand of blonde hair behind her knitted cap as she watched Double D carefully make a second cup of cocoa.

Kevin dug around in his pocket for a second quarter and then tossed them into the jar. This made Eddy extremely happy. Double D smiled politely as he handed the two of them their cups.

"Thanks," Kevin sneered, "dork."

"What?" Eddy growled, taking his eyes away from the money for once.

"You promised, Kevin." Nazz said disapprovingly.

Kevin shrugged, "Eddy's cool with it. That's the deal right, dork?"

"I didn't strike no deal!"

"I clearly don't recall a formal handshake of agreement."

"RUN AWAY!"

Out of nowhere, Ed smashed into the booth, recklessly shattering the entire counter. Planks of wood and splashes of hot chocolate flew everywhere, staining the snow. He tumbled over the debris, crushing styrofoam cups, knocking the change out of the jar, and getting himself wrapped up in the giant banner which said 'HOT! Chocolate! HOT!'.

Double D stood among the huge mess that his friend caused, looking down in horror. "Are you SERIOUS?"

Eddy didn't seem to notice the event in the least, as he and Kevin's glares had locked onto each other's.

"Don't try to fleece me, dude." Kevin warned, "I warned you before I dropped that quarter in."

"I didn't ASK you to pay, did I?"

Eddy was angry. It wasn't the fact that Kevin called him a "dork," it was the fact that Kevin called him a "dork" after all that they had gone through, and after he had promised not to from then on. It was only a month or two ago (or three, he could not remember…), after all of the kids were returning to the cul-de-sac together, in one big group. Everyone saw, everyone laughed, and everyone forgave… They were past all that. He thought that maybe they could even b e pals…

And now, Kevin had to come and dig up the dead.

"Fine, I'll take my money back then." Kevin held out his hand.

"No way! It's mine!"

"Then you're a DORK!"

"Kevin, you're being such a jerk." Nazz commented on the side.

Double D was trying to untangle Ed from the twisted bed sheet that seemed to have consumed the poor, screaming boy. He tried to console him, to tell him that there's nothing to yell about, and that he's probably disturbing the neighbors, but Ed kept kicking and thrashing and insisting that he was being eaten alive. When he shimmied his way out of the sheet, he rubbed the back of his neck and apologized to Double D. After a pat on the shoulder and a sigh of forgiveness, the two of them started to clean up the mess, trying to ignore the ruckus that Eddy seemed to be causing with Kevin.

"Let's settle this man to man." Kevin leered.

Eddy puffed up his chest. "FINE! Name the time and the place!"

Kevin's face darkened as he said; "Here, tomorrow, an all-out team-vs-team snowball battle to the death!"

"You're on!"

Nazz rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh and threw the hot cocoa at Kevin's legs before she walked away. He jumped, startled, and walked after her asking why she was being so cold. She said something about him being more mature as they walked off into the distance.

Sarah, who had been stomping after Ed, was now standing with her arms crossed, glowering at her brother. She snatched the hot kettle out of his hand angrily.

"Your stupid hot chocolate burnt my tongue!" She yelled before trudging through the thick snow back to her house, the hot kettle steaming in her hand.

Eddy seemed to be oblivious to his destroyed merchant's stand and obliterated scam. Instead of fuming over the failed hot chocolate endeavor, he stomped towards his house with his hands stuffed in his pockets, seething, mumbling to himself about how much he hated Kevin.

Double D couldn't decide whether he should go after and console his immature friend or stay behind and clean up the mess. He stood on the snow, blankly watching him walk away steaming red, and considered that maybe it would be a good idea to just let him steam. So, he started to pick up the shattered planks of wood. Ed, on the other hand, felt bad about what had happened so he ran off after Eddy.

"I'm sorry, Eddy," he explained as he caught up to his short buddy, "it's my fault; I ruined the scam."

"It's that stupid jerk Kevin!" Eddy growled. He stopped walking and abruptly spun around to face Ed; "Why'd he have to go there huh? Why?!"

Ed tapped his chin. "But Eddy, didn't Kevin always call you those things?"

Eddy rolled his eyes and turned his back to Ed... He just didn't understand. Things have changed. They were supposed to be friends now. They were supposed to be accepted by all the kids in the cul-de-sac! Eddy sighed and said: "At least Nazz thinks he's a jerk."

"I like beef jerky too, Eddy. It's okay."

"Yeah," Eddy exhaled dryly as he patted Ed on the back, "It's okay."

"Gentlemen!"

They both turned to see Double D running towards them with a styrofoam cup in one hand and a long wooden board in another. He looked excited and thoughtful as he said; "I propose one of us should host an overnight assembly in preparation for the snowball fight." He looked at the objects in his hands as he spoke. "There are schematics that I'd like to go over concerning a-"

"Party at Ed's!" Ed shouted with his hands up, "We can do it at my place, guys!"

"Yes," Double D cringed at the interruption, "well, as I was saying-"

"You better have snacks, Lumpy." Eddy laughed, jostling his pal's arm as they started to walk away from their inventive friend.

~*

It was already night time when Eddy told his parents that he was sleeping over at Ed's house. He grabbed a pillow, a pair of underwear, and something that resembled a blanket before running out the door. He couldn't tell exactly what it was that he grabbed, but it was dark and he was in a hurry so it didn't really matter.

He quickly made his way to Ed's house, trying to be as stealthy as possible, ducking behind bushes and trees as often as he could. He even crept behind houses, to stay away from the open area of the cul-de-sac.

Eddy quickly slid beside the brick wall of Ed's house and he knelt over to tap the secret knock on his window. Suddenly, Ed's arm reached out and dragged the boy inside in one swift movement.

Double D was already perched in the center of the room atop his neatly folded sleeping bag. He waved politely at Eddy while Ed looked outside the window nervously, sweating profusely. He then proceeded to nail a block of wood in front of the window, making sure that nobody could see inside.

Eddy turned to see his friend nailing something to the wall, and noticed-

"Why are you in your underwear Ed??"

Ed turned his attention to his short, little, confused friend. All of the sudden he dropped the hammer and said, as the steel nails fell from his mouth; "It's an underwear party, Eddy!"

Eddy looked to Double D who only shrugged and said; "I tried to tell him…"

He did not look amused. "Put some clothes on, Ed."

"Not a chance," Ed said stubbornly, grabbing onto Eddy's shoulders, "You will be stripped of all your earthly possessions, mortal!"

"What?" Eddy asked nervously, but was barely able to mutter the question mark before Ed became animalistic and ripped off his clothes with his teeth.

"ED!" He screamed, "You're gettin' your slobber all over my threads!!"

"Gentlemen, please," Double D tried to establish peace, but ended up only distracting Ed. "Oh dear."

Ed cautiously approached his still-clothed friend with a snarling Eddy on his back trying to pummel in his head. He had his hands out, fingers splayed and ready to grab. Double D shook nervously as he slowly started to back away, gradually trailing to the back of the room. As he became cornered, he started to beg.

"Ed, you can't just take someone else's clothes off of their back! This is shameful! It's mortifying!"

"I see those wires!" Ed threatened, dropping Eddy's clothes from his mouth, "SPY FROM THE OTHER SIDE!"

"S-spy?" In one terrifying swing of Ed's arm, Double D sat in the corner, shaking nervously in his underwear. He suddenly jetted upright in embarrassment and started to pull down on his undershirt.

Suddenly Ed stood upright, looking around the room, and then he smiled brightly. "I'll go get snacks, guys."

When Ed left the room and climbed up the stairs to the kitchen, Double D quickly scrambled into his sleeping bag and changed into some fuzzy, warm pajamas. Eddy just sat on the itchy carpet, glaring at what was now a pile of wet clothes covered in drool. He rubbed his bare shoulder, wondering if there was something else he could adorn, but when he reached for the blanket-like object that he had brought along, it turned out to be that new jacket. His face isntantly soured.

"I'm really starting to HATE this thing." He growled as he slipped it on over his undershirt.

"It's a nice jacket," Double D said, offering consolance. "Purple is very becoming on you."

"Whatever." Eddy brushed away the comment as he made his way to sit down next to Double D. "What's taking Lumpy so long?"

"HEY!" When the two heard Sarah scream from upstairs, their hair stood on end. "Those scones are for me and my guest. Put them back!"

"You shouldn't even have a friend here after dark, Sarah."

"PUT 'EM BACK or I'm tellin' MOM!"

"Don't tell Mom!"

Ed returned to his room with a couple bags of chips and a six pack of soda, much to his friend's relief, as Ed is well-known for his unconventional taste in odd foods. He looked away from the room and up the staircase and said; "Tell your friend to go home, Sarah!" And then a door slammed upstairs.

Ed waddled to his group of friends in the center of his room and dropped the snacks down on the floor between them. He plopped down on the carpet in his underwear and opened a bag of chips.

"Gimme some of those." Eddy stuffed his hand in the bag.

"Alrighty, so is everyone all set?" Double D asked. He was standing next to a whiteboard that he had just set up, holding a dry erase marker in his hand. "Let's begin with discussing team formations. So far, we know that our team consists of the three of us." He wrote their names on the whiteboard as a list. "Now who do you think Kevin would recruit?"

"Rolf," Eddy said off-hand, "obviously."

"Nazz?" Ed contributed.

After he wrote Rolf's name on the other side of the whiteboard, Double D thought for a few moments about what Ed said. "No, no, I doubt Nazz would agree to join Kevin's team, considering how earlier today she thought he was acting immature. That would require a great change of heart on her part."

"What about Sarah or Jimmy?"

Double D thoughtfully wrote Sarah's name down under Kevin's, but not Jimmy's. "I doubt Jimmy would want to take part in such a rigorous and physically challenging endeavor."

"So that's it?" Eddy asked through a mouthful of chips as he stared at the whiteboard, "It's just three versus three, big deal."

The Eds continued to discuss fort formation, snow aerodynamics, the importance of conserving heat, possible flaws that they might come across, and even Double D's roughly sketched plan for a snowball-making machine providing "ease of access and perfectly shaped snowballs". It almost looked like a waffle maker with a funnel and a small motor on the back.

"The heat provided from the motor barely melts and refreezes he outer layer of the snowballs, providing a solid and aerodynamic structure, ensuring the stability of the ball itself, so that it doesn't fall apart in your hands."

"YAWN!" Eddy rudely interrupted, suggesting his ever-apparent boredom with Double D's speech.

Ed looked over at his friend who was feigning a yawn, which made himself yawn. "Bed time!"

Confused, Double D looked at his watch, "But it's only… oh my, is it already-?"

The lights flickered off, and Ed jumped into his repulsive mattress, snuggling up to the dirty sheets as if he had just entered his happy place. The chips still lay open on the floor with a few sprinkled around the carpet and the sodas were untouched. However, after a few minutes Ed started to snore.

Eddy was still sitting on the cold carpet in his despised jacket, looking somewhat pissed. "Are you kiddin' me??"

"Sssh," Double D hushed, "You'll wake Ed."

As Double D spread his sleeping bag on the floor, going through his normal bedtime habits, Eddy curled up on the prickly, uncomfortable carpet, pulling his detested jacket around himself, propping up the pillow that he brought along after punching it angrily a few times. He laid down and sighed irritably, and he heard a soft chuckle from behind him.

"Eddy, you don't have to sleep on the floor," Double D said kindly, yet somewhat reluctantly, "w-we can share."

"Share what?" Eddy asked, looking over his shoulder. He didn't need a response when he saw that Double D had completely spread the sleeping bag flat on the floor, offering more than enough space for two people. He was also holding up an extra blanket, one that he assumed Double D brought along "just in case it's too cold".

The carpet really was very uncomfortable, so Eddy crawled on top of his friend's sleeping bag and plopped down lazily, dragging his own pillow under his head. He heard a quiet voice from behind him asking if he wanted to share the blankets, and he considered how cold it might get during a night in the dead of winter.

"…Yeah," he said hoarsely, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders.

It eventually became disturbingly quiet in the room as Eddy tried to fall asleep. Out of the silence came a popping noise and he looked over his shoulder to see Double D sitting up, rubbing lotion on his feet. When he noticed Eddy watching, the boy became timid, and hid the lotion in his rucksack. "Sorry," he whispered, thinking that he was keeping his friend awake.

Eddy rolled over to face him completely. He started to feel a bit relieved that he wasn't the only one who was having trouble falling asleep. This change of position caused Double D to feel nervous, however, and he started to lay down facing away from him, avoiding his stare but still feeling anxious as they lay in silence.

"Double D," Eddy said quietly, wanting to talk about something that had been on his mind for a while now. Unfinished business, apparently; a discussion previously dropped due to social awkwardness and lack of intellectual depth. "You remember when we were talkin' about what my bro said, a couple months ago… on the way home?"

"About…?" Double D bit his lip nervously. He had hoped since the last time he brought it up that it wouldn't be mentioned again… at least not until they had matured a little; until Eddy would be able to figure it out himself.

"Well, you know," he whispered harshly, kicking in his friend's direction, "the "girlfriend" thing."

Double D cleared his throat. "I-I'm really tired, actually, Eddy…"

"How come nobody wants to talk to me about it?" Eddy fumed, feeling left out.

"W-w-well…" he thought, fretfully adjusting his nightcap as he tried to remember when the conversation had left off many days ago, "It isn't a subject easily discussed, Eddy. That is… h-homosexuality is something that hasn't been socially acceptable around here."

"Homose… what?"

Double D was starting to feel frustrated, and he pulled the blanket up to his eyeballs. "Eddy- your brother was inferring that you and I were gay! How many times do I have to say it…?"

There was a long pause. Double D let out a long sigh, assuming that his pal had either dropped the subject or simply stopped caring. After a few sounds of shuffling, he heard Eddy say:

"What the heck does that mean?"

He gulped. "Being gay?"

"Well, yeah."

Double D really did not want to discuss this. The mere topic of romantic inclination between two boys, discussed between two close male friends, made him feel like he was going to either frighten and disgust his best friend, or he was going to reveal a foundation for a possible higher level in their relationship. The intensity of the pressure he felt in this situation made him sweat. His fingers trembled as they pulled the blanket up over his head on their own accord. Double D licked his dry lips before letting the cat out of the bag…

"To be gay… means…" He shuddered a sigh and tried to breathe in deeply, "T-to be gay is to love… to be physically attracted to… s-someone of the same gender."

The silence took over as Eddy considered what his friend said, and then he replied; "You mean, people do that? Really?"

"Yeah."

Eddy had never heard of something like that before. In the small town that he had lived in, in a cul-de-sac with conventional moral values, nobody had ever mentioned something like that before. When his bro mentioned the term "girlfriend," he seriously started questioning his own best friend's gender. He was always taught, by his brother of course, that guys were supposed to chase after chicks, not other guys. He had no idea.

"…Is that normal?"

Double D sweated. "N-no," he lied, and he knew it was a lie, "it's not normal. It's not natural."

"Oh."

With a heft y sigh of relief, the hat-wearing Ed boy started to feel sleepy and he snuggled into the covers, thankful that they had finally sorted it out in the least embarrassing way possible.

"How come he thought we were gay?"

"Who knows?" The reply was automatic, as all he wanted to do was get some sleep and forget about the entire thing. The last thing Double D wanted to worry about was something as foolish as sexual orientation. Really, what did it matter?

~*

End of chapter two~ I'm so embarrassed to write the next chapter. It's going to be sort of… um… well, you'll see. It's not healthy to push those worries to the back of your mind, Double D! Next chapter involves that sneaky spy, a bad guilt trip, Double D's newest invention, and of course the snowy showdown. Hope to see you there!


	3. Fighting the Empty Fight!

Author note: O~K I'm just going to upload this and say "to hell with it". This chapter really just flowed out and I don't have the heart to change anything! And about the first part- I think it's absolutely necessary at this point, and I hope you feel just as embarrassed as I did writing it, hahaha.

~*

LIES, SPIES AND SNOWBALL FIGHTS by SWEETEGGROLL

Chapter 3: Fighting the Empty Fight!

~*

A quiet shuffling noise behind him caused Double D to crack his eyes open again, unable to sleep restfully whenever his curiosity was piqued. He silently waited for Eddy to finish doing… whatever he was doing, so that he would be able to drift off. As he sleepily watched the empty darkness in front of him, listening to the shuffling getting louder, he started to wonder what the heck his friend was doing behind him.

"Eddy?" He whispered quietly, "Are you…?"

Just then, a chill ran up his spine as the blankets that were covering his back were lifted up, exposing him to the cool air. He automatically clenched onto the blankets in front of him, and then shook when he heard Eddy say: "We shoulda tried this a long time ago."

His heart quickened in its pace, steadily beating faster and faster as his friend's belly brushed up against the small of his back, sending shivers over his shoulders. With wide eyes, he glanced behind him, almost unable to believe Eddy's straightforward advances. Had he no shame? Double D tensed up as an arm wrapped around his frail and trembling body, bare legs tangled with his, and hot breath trailed down the nape of his neck. He shakily tried to shimmy away from Eddy's bare skin as he protested; "We shouldn't be doing this! We're too young!"

"Sshhhh!" Eddy hushed him from behind, wrapping his fingers over Double D's mouth before sarcastically saying, "You'll wake Ed."

Double D's face lit up beneath his captor's restraining hand; words muffled through his fingers were words that obviously did not matter to Eddy as he tightened his grip, pulling the boy closer to nuzzle the gentle skin behind his ear. With the arm wrapped around him, he roughly caressed the boy's chest in light, warm circles. Double D squirmed when he felt hot saliva trail down the most sensitive area of his neck, shockwaves of pleasure coursing through his veins, and from behind the dominating grip over his mouth he uttered a tiny moan just barely audible to the boy behind him.

And when this happened, dread washed over him, as he could feel Eddy grin against his neck.

"You're enjoying this? Man, Double D, you're so gay!" Eddy quietly teased, tightly gripping onto his friend's legs with his own. With a devilish grin, he pulled their hips together, getting a high-pitched squeak from behind his hand. He stifled his own moan as he brusquely said into his ear, "So am I."

Double D jolted awake, abruptly sitting up in his sleeping bag and looking around the room until he realized that he had slept over at Ed's place. Sudden awareness of a certain enlarged body part made him cringe with embarrassment, and he hastily covered his lap with the blanket before wiping the cold sweat from his brow.

"It was a dream," he said to himself, and then he grinned at his foolishness and touched his blushing cheek, "of course it was, silly me. As if Eddy would ever…"

He remembered sharing a sleeping bag with Eddy and he glanced over in hopes that he would still be asleep, only to see that his friend had somehow rolled over halfway onto the carpet, snuggling sleepily into his hated jacket.

With a sigh of relief, Double D stretched and yawned and jumped in place when Ed dropped a plate of gravy-drenched pancakes on his lap. He immediately winced in pain, biting his lip to subdue the soreness in a particular area.

"Breakfast in bed for my friend." He said happily, "That enough gravy for ya?"

"P-" Double D gulped and tried to smile up at his friend, "Plenty, Ed." He anxiously looked down at the gravy-coated flapjacks, but then he remembered that he had brought along an organic granola bar in case this sort of situation came up. He pulled it out of his rucksack, along with his toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, and he quickly walked to the messy bathroom that connected to Ed's room. "I'm just going to brush my teeth."

Ed shrugged. He grabbed the plate dripping with hot gravy and placed it in front of Eddy's face, which looked as if it was smashed against the carpet, where he slept soundly. The acrid scent of the solidified meat drippings invaded Eddy's nostrils and he woke with a start.

"Ed!" His voice cracked with phlegm and he sleepily sat up, rubbing his eyes, "That's so sick."

Ed looked offended. He grabbed the plate of gravy-coated pancakes and plopped down in front of his ungrateful friend with a fork in hand. "Fine," he said snootily, "no pancakes for you." And he chomped down happily, greedily devouring every morsel and drop of gravy and even licking the plate clean. Eddy ignored this and groggily crawled into Double D's makeshift nest, tossing the blanket over him once before beginning to drift off again…

Ed was already completely dressed in his thick brown winter coat as he waited excitedly for Double D to come out of the bathroom. When he finally came out, the boy was also completely dressed, and he and Ed both looked down to see Eddy still asleep on Double D's things.

"Eddy?" Double D knelt down and gently pushed on his friend's shoulder, "Shouldn't you be preparing for your juvenile, poorly determined and most likely painful snowball fight with Kevin today?"

Eddy groaned into a pillow that wasn't even his. Apparently, he had not gotten enough sleep. Double D gulped, remembering the talk that he had with Eddy the night before. He started to feel guilty; what if the things he had said kept Eddy up all night? Then as he thought about the conversation, he remembered what he had said. He had lied. The guilt multiplied. He sucked in a deep breath and looked at Ed with fear in his eyes as he said, "Perhaps we should go to prepare the provisional fort as Eddy sleeps a little longer."

"But Double D," Ed complained, lifting up a sleepy Eddy's arm, "Eddy is our general, our leader; we can't go into battle without him!"

Double D smiled and patted his friend's shoulder, "That's okay Ed. I can step in as leader if I have to."

"No," Eddy grumbled, trying to sit up, "I'm the leader." He zipped up his jacket and glared at his friends. "Let's go."

~*

It seemed to have gotten even colder since the day before. When they stepped outside, the scene of the dreary, quiet cul-de-sac seemed to loom around them as if impending doom lurked in the frozen air. The sky was dark with bloated gray clouds that seemed to stretch all over Peach Creek. Not even the slightest breeze could be felt through the silence that seemed to be as thick as water in the air.

The three boys made their way to the site of their failed scam- what used to be the hot chocolate booth- where the snow had been disturbed with countless footsteps and shards of wood. As they walked, Eddy glanced at his ingenious friend as he remembered the invention that they had discussed the night before, but before he could ask about it, he saw that his pal's cheeks were a bright pink as he looked off into the distance.

"What's up?" He asked curiously.

It took Double D a second to realize that someone was talking to him, and when he saw Eddy staring at him, he turned his face to the opposite direction. "It's nothing, Eddy. …I'm just thinking about the upcoming snowball skirmish, that's all!"

Eddy stopped walking, and when Double D noticed the uneven sound of footsteps crunching through the snow, he stopped as well, daring to look at him in the eyes.

"Look," Eddy placated, trying to assess the situation, "if this is about last night…"

Double D jumped in place, his eyes wide as he tried to stifle his surprise. It WAS a dream… wasn't it? He anxiously waited for his friend to say something as he tried to keep his cool, but he could not stop his knees from shaking when Eddy's gaze fixated on him. He looked perplexed, and then a little embarrassed as he said; "I still got some questions, so…"

"Oh!" He was talking about the "discussion" they had. Double D paled as relief washed over him, and then he chuckled. "We can talk about that later!"

"Y-yeah!" Eddy grinned, feeling confident again. It felt good to know that Double D was still his friend and helping him to understand even the most awkward of things. He ran up to him and roughly smacked his back, "You're a good friend, y'know."

"Heh," Double D chuckled nervously as he slowly looked away, "yeah… friend."

"So where's that new thing-a-ma-jig that you were gonna bring?"

"Huh?"

"The 'secret weapon'?"

"Oh," Double D started to sweat as he fretted, "It seems that…" He wrung his hands together in front of him, "in my carelessness… the blueprint featuring the dynamics and multipurpose nature of our instant snowball-maker…" he gulped, "it appears I have misplaced my plans."

"WHAT?" Eddy jumped away from him, "No way!"

"I'm afraid so." He nodded sheepishly, feeling very irresponsible.

"Hey, Eddy?" Ed called back from in front of the two, sounding anxious, "That looks familiar."

The three stood frozen on the snowy ground, staring at Kevin and his brand new, very familiar-looking snowball-making machine. It sat on the snow, steaming and hissing as it vibrated from a motor that looked a lot bigger than the one in Double D's sketches. It also had a barrel attached to it, and some kind of triggering mechanism with a clutch. Eddy stared in shock and confusion while Ed panicked; running in circles with his hands in the snow until he has scooped up a giant dirtied mass of the frozen substance and threw it in front of them. He shook with fear as he ducked behind it before reaching out, grabbing Eddy and pulling him behind the makeshift fort.

Double D stood in the open, staring at the contraption thoughtfully as his finger tapped his chin. "I'm starting to believe that Kevin stole my design for his own benefit." Suddenly Ed's arm shot out and wrapped around him, dragging the perplexed boy behind the fort as well. It was just then that snowballs seemed to whiz through the air effortlessly, each followed by a short banging sound, as if someone was firing off a canon in the distance.

Eddy looked around, sweating profusely, not even daring to peek over the fort as Kevin laughed derisively only yards away. Ed had busied himself making uneven snowballs and throwing them in a pile in front of them in a sweaty panic. Double D just sat in the snow, staring off in the distance as he thought about the mechanism he had just seen.

"Such an unstable concoction for an apparatus handling substances relative to frozen water…" he mumbled to himself, "The engine is much too advanced for its mediocre usage, surely the-"

"Sockhead!" Eddy screamed, jolting his friend out of his trance-like, intellectual musings, "Think of something!"

Double D winced and he calmly closed his eyes. He took a deep breath; he sighed. "Can't you see that I am TRYING TO, EDDY?!"

Eddy shrank back against the snowy fort looking offended, "Geez, you don't gotta yell."

His friend shook his head as he tried to reestablish his thought process. Suddenly, Ed poured an armful of snowballs into Eddy's lap saying, "Throw! Now!"

Eddy grinned to see that something was finally starting to go his way. He grabbed a couple of snowballs and peeked over the top of the fort, ready to throw, but that was when Kevin let go of the trigger on the machine and stood there, crossing his arms in defiance.

"Allow me to explain the rules." He smirked, placing his foot on top of the vibrating machine. "There can only be one fort per team and anyone who gets hit by a snowball is OUT! Last man standing wins."

"It's three on three, right?" Eddy growled, seeing only Kevin standing next to his fort.

Kevin shrugged as if he never really needed a team since he had a snow-shooter, but with a motion of his hand, some of the kids started to file out of the wall of snow: Sarah, Rolf, and Jimmy.

"Jimmy?" Eddy looked confused.

This caused Double D to look out from behind their own fort, "Is that really Jimmy?"

Jimmy stood uncertainly in his baby blue jacket, fidgeting with some very large earmuffs as he looked at the Ed boy's fort hesitantly. "Who said my name?"

Suddenly Ed laughed, "Look guys! They got Jimmy on their team. Easy pickin's, huh Eddy?"

The frail boy grabbed Sarah's sleeve and glared at her brother with detestation. He wagged a finger at him snobbily and said, "I'll have you know that it's because of me-"

"No, Jimmy!" Sarah grabbed his shoulders to stop him from admitting their secret.

"It's okay, Sarah," he giggled, "there's nothing they can do about it now, we've already won! Because," he glared at Ed, Edd, and Eddy, "I'm the one that stole their secret plans!"

Eddy instantly glared at Double D. "How the heck did Jimmy get his grubby fingers on YOUR plans, Sockhead?"

"That's right," Jimmy declared dramatically, "it was me! Last night, when it was well past bedtime, I tippy-toed into Ed's room with my TwinkerTot flashlight. Oh, the horror! The filth and stench alone was more than enough to disgust my delicate senses. Luckily enough, Double D had left the plan well-visible and neatly perched on top of his knapsack and," he paused to cover the blush forming on his cheeks with his pink mittens, "oh, the cad! I felt no mercy when I snatched that pervert's blueprints!"

Ed stared off into space for a second… before turning to his friends and asking; "What's a pervert?"

Eddy looked puzzled, and at once turned to his intelligent friend, but Double D had long ago turned completely red with embarrassment and melted into the back of the snow fort, trying to cover his face with his hat as he sat hunched over in silence. In the distance, they could hear Rolf quietly say; "This word also confuses the son of a shepherd…"

Eddy was not sure what they were talking about, but defensively shot back, "What were ya doin' in Ed's room that late anyway?! Didn't Ed say you couldn't have friends after dark, SARAH?"

Sarah suddenly glared at him, and then at Jimmy, "Oh great, now ED'S gonna tell mom!"

Ed's longwinded laugh could be heard clearly in the air as he sunk back behind the fort to make more snowballs, "Yep, I'm tellin' mom, Sarah!"

"OH You better NOT Ed!" She started stomping towards their fort, but her brother shot up with a snowball in his hand, ready to throw.

He threatened, "STOP! I will end you, baby sister!"

Sarah grabbed Jimmy and scrambled behind the fort again as a sloppily-thrown snowball misses them by a mile, causing Eddy to roll his eyes.

"C'mon, Lumpy!" He tried to demonstrate the 'correct' way to throw a snowball, "Just pretend they're all Double D's doorbell!"

Ed laughed as he slugged another snowball, "Hahaha. Ding dong!"

A handful of snow whizzed past Rolf, almost grazing his ear. "Ho oh!" He laughed heartily and bent over to pick up some snow while looking at a self-satisfied Kevin. "Come, Kevin, let us triumph over the Ed Boys using the frozen waste of a harsh and brutal winter day!"

"You said it, Rolf." Kevin laughed, revving up the engine and turning a dial to 'Auto'.

The rumbling sound of the motor was louder than before and the contraption shuddered and shook as both Rolf and Kevin gathered armfuls of snow and poured it into the funnel, fueling the machine to pelt snowballs constantly against the enemy fort. The Ed Boys were hiding behind their snowy shield, while Sarah and Jimmy made their own snowballs in the safety of Kevin's overbearing offense.

Jimmy looked nervous as he sat beside Sarah, who seemed very excited. "I don't know about this, Sarah. I don't want to get hit by a snowball; it looks so painful!"

"Don't worry Jimmy," she assured, "it doesn't hurt. Here! Throw this one at my stupid brother."

"Tee-hee-hee!" Jimmy giggled as she handed him the ammunition. He leaned out from behind their shelter, grinning widely as he threw the snowball, which only flew a few feet. Suddenly a fast-flying ball of snow soared towards him, smacking the boy in the shoulder and causing him to fly back with a surprised yelp.

"Jimmy!" Sarah cried out, reaching for her best friend.

"HAH!" Eddy mocked, calling out over the distance, "The little sucker deserved it for stealing OUR thing-a-ma-bobber!"

"Oh Sarah," he murmured dramatically, shivering as he lay in the snow, "I failed you."

"It's okay Jimmy, you'll be fine!"

"Everything is becoming dark…" he said dramatically with a hand over his forehead, "Carry me, Sarah."

Sarah then glared down at him. "Get up, Jimmy."

A tear came to Jimmy's eye as he stood up and ran away towards his house saying, "I'm so helpless!"

Kevin stopped loading up the snow-firing machine to ask her, "Why do you hang out with that kid?"

She growled. "Mind your own business!"

On the other side of the yard, Eddy was lazily making sloppy snowballs and handing them to Ed, who yelled "Ding dong!" with each toss. He looked over to Double D, who was being nothing but dead weight at the moment, sitting there in silence, trying to cool his face with his frozen mittens. "A little help here??"

"Oh," Double D couldn't stop sweating nervously, but saw that he was being addressed, "I'm still thinking."

"Yeah right!" Eddy barked, "At least make some snowballs while you're thinkin'."

He really was thinking: thinking about how the whole discussion revolving around the particular word "pervert" would definitely be brought up again in the future, stimulating yet another very awkward conversation simply because he was Double D; he was 'supposed' to know. The boy tried to sigh away the anxiety as he tried his best to make snowballs for his friend. If only Jimmy hadn't stolen their plans, they would not be in this situation. In fact, they would probably win by a landslide with Ed's eagerness to throw snowballs and Eddy lack of enthusiasm to make any good ones. It provided their perfect solution. Double D silently blamed himself for not hiding their secret plans in the first place. If only…

He started to think about the device, the suction cup which pulls the snow inwards, the perfectly round trays where the snowballs were formed, the sliding shoot which dispensed the balls…

Wait a second.

Double D carefully peeked out from behind their fort at the snow-flinging apparatus. A tiny smile appeared on his face as he comfortably re-settled behind the snowy wall. He gently placed a hand on his friend's arm and said, "Instead of throwing them, let us augment our current supply of ammo. Stack them in a pile here."

"What? Why?"

"You'll see."

Eddy rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Hey Lumps! Stop throwing and sit down for a sec will ya?"

Ed grinned and plopped down beside Eddy. "Anything to avoid the red dawn, cap'n."

"What?"

"What?"

Eddy glared at Ed for a second before ordering him to make more snowballs.

As the three boys stacked snowballs in a pile in front of them, Kevin and Rolf laughed as their awesome machine slowly chipped away their enemy's snow fort.

"This is great, man!" Kevin sneered as he sweated from the labor. Rolf, on the other hand, stared at him curiously.

"Does the carrying of frozen water tire you, Kevin?"

"What?" Kevin asked breathlessly as he wiped his brow, "Wha- no way, Rolf. Hah, yeah right!"

"You guys are being stupid," Sarah told them from behind the shelter, "They're not even fighting back! We're running out of snow around here; you'll have to run farther away to get more snow each time, giving those Eds a better shot to hit you!"

Rolf stared at her as if she had just revealed the entire plot. "The redhead speaks the truth. The Ed Boys will now be preparing for a mighty battle against Rolf while Rolf runs around like a chicken without a head!" He spun around to face his friend, "Kevin! You fail to impress Rolf as a war chief."

Kevin just stared at him blankly. "It's just a snowball fight, dude."

"Come!" Rolf announced while grabbing Sarah's wrist, "Let us also prepare the ammunition! We shall not surrender!"

Kevin simply shook his head as he fetched another armful of snow and dumped it into the machine. "The cold's goin' to your head, Rolf."

Eddy shrieked as he realized that their snow fort had shrunk in size and was being disassembled by their own stolen, yet jacked up, machine. "How is this happening? Why ain't the snow stacking up against our fort??"

"Well, Eddy," Double D explained, "Judging from the size of the engine, the copycat invention seems to have much more torque than I intended for it. Also, the dirty snow which Kevin is misleadingly stocking inside of it is much denser, probably full of mud and stray grasses, making the blow more of an impact."

Eddy simply grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook, "But that isn't a GOOD thing! How can you be so calm about it?!"

Double D only giggled in his peaceful demeanor. "You'll soon see that Kevin will certainly regret the many compromises that he made to my design."

Eddy nervously looked over the edge of the whittled and dying snow fort, hoping with all his might that something disastrous would happen to Kevin, as Double D predicted. And, as Double D predicted, the machine suddenly stopped working. The engine sputtered and shook, but the snow failed to shoot out. In a panic, Kevin grabbed as much snow as he could and loaded it into the machine. He even grabbed he many snowballs that his teammates were working on, much to their demise, and stuffed them into the funnel until it was ballooned full of snow, stretching the very confines of the funnel to the point which it looked like it could bust at any moment. He grabbed a miffed Rolf and convinced him that they need to stuff more snow on top as Sarah derisively called them names from the side. Then, Double D chuckled.

"You see?" He said, satisfied with his logical thinking.

"Double D!" Eddy cried out, again grabbing onto his shoulders, "Now's our chance! Let's go Ed!"

"For the horde!" Ed called out, running out into the battlefield with snowballs in his arms.

"N-no!" Double D scrambled to get to his feet, "They might still have stock behind their-"

"Grab a ball, let's go!" He urged, trying to push his friend out from behind the safety that their meager shelter provided, but with much resistance.

"I won't, Eddy! Not until I'm sure-"

Eddy scoffed loudly, pushing him aside on his final strand of patience, "Don't be GAY, Sockhead!"

Double D gasped. He watched his friends stupidly run out into the danger zone as Eddy's words repeated themselves constantly in his head like an echo, breaking his heart each time. Since when did he use such a term condescendingly, as if it were a bad thing? Could it be because of their discussion the night before? Was it his own fault that Eddy, his best friend, looked down on homosexuality as if it were a handicap? The boy clutched at his chest. The guilt was so great, spreading through his system like a disease, infecting all of the pure virtue that he has grown to respect so much.

'How could I…' he thought to himself, 'Eddy is sure to forever look down upon homosexuality, perhaps even love itself. I've corrupted his innocence; I've soiled the very purity of love. He'll adapt to being narrow-minded and hateful; never understanding, never considering, never accepting. It's all my fault…' His eyes tingled with tears. 'All because I didn't want to tell him…'

"Eddy!"

Eddy suddenly paused in his tracks and looked behind him. He saw Double D standing behind the fort, leaning across the top, as if he was trying to hold himself up. He looked afraid, yet determined, almost as if he was about to cry. A tense silence took over as they did nothing but exchange surprised looks, and Eddy snapped out of it, saying "What??"

Double D cringed, closing his eyes and trying to look away as he gritted his teeth, thinking about the consequences of telling him… but he had to tell him. Now that he had lied, running away from the guilt would be impossible; he knew that it tore him up on the inside. His best friend came to him seeking knowledge, even possibly compassion, and he turned him away because of his own inward fear of exploring the unknown. It sickened Double D to think of himself as a coward, as a liar. With one final breath of determination, he locked eyes with Eddy, who was on his final ounce of patience.

"I LIED!!!" He cried, tears starting to form in his eyes as the tension started to melt out of his chest, "Homosexuality isn't wrong… and it IS natural! Even the most intelligent of animals…" But he trailed off, hurriedly trying to wipe the cold tears out of his eyes with his mittens. When he looked up and saw that Eddy only looked lost, he laughed dryly and said: "We… weren't actually stuck. That-" he sniffed, "I lied about that as well…"

Eddy looked astounded, at a loss for words… and then he looked angry.

"You lied-?!"

But out of nowhere, a massive person-sized snowball was hurled through the air, destroying their fort and consuming Double D in the process. Kevin's riotous laughter rang through the air behind him as Eddy was frozen in place for a second, watching the horrifying scene. He jerked out of his astonishment and rushed to Double D's side, oblivious to the snowballs that whizzed past him.

"Double D!" He and Ed both yelled out simultaneously.

Ed dug through the snow as quickly as possible and, surprisingly, so did Eddy. A third pair of hands joined in, and they realized that Sarah had run over to join them, concerned about Double D's safety.

"You idiot!" she yelled at Kevin as she and Eddy tried to pull a shivering Double D out of the icy snow.

"Hey," he said over his own fort, "rules are rules; the Double Dork is OUT." When he saw that Ed was carrying Double D, whose skin was very pale and trembling, he quietly asked Rolf; "Do you think he's alright, man?"

"Rolf is not familiar with the will of the puny Ed-boy." Rolf replied, pulling off is leather gloves and stuffing them into his jean pockets, "But the son of a shepherd does not linger in the icy frostings of the Great Winter for long, for there is many a turkey to baste!"

"Aw man," Kevin watched Rolf walk away. He slammed his fist into the snowy fort in front of him and said, "I'm not gonna clean this up by myself."

Kevin looked around and saw that everyone had dipped out. He angrily kicked the snow fort, causing it to crumble as he said, "This blows. I'm outta here."

~*

Okay, one more chapter to go. I'M SORRY THIS IS SO FREAKING LONG. It actually started out looking like the shortest chapter but I got so into it that it just blew up! And I'm sorry for Rolf and Kevin's ooc-ness, I'm not good with their characters (though I wish I was). THANK YEW guys for your reviews so far~! Peace!


	4. End

Lies, Spies and Snowball Fights -END FINALLY, GOD

by =SweetEggyRoll

Double D slowly opened his eyes and the sight of a bright ceiling light and the edges of light green wallpaper poured into his vision. He squinted for a bit, and shuffled deeper into where he lay for it felt so warm and comfortable. As his eyes adjusted, he slowly roused from his slumber, hearing what sounded like shuffling beside him. Then he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey Sockhead, you awake?"

"Double D! Are youmph-!"

"Keep it down, will ya? He just woke up."

He breathed in deeply and nestled further into the covers… Then realization washed over him and he blinked awake, rapidly sitting up and looking around the room. "Eddy?" He asked nasally, slowly looking around the interior of the house, "I'm... home?"

Ed slipped out of Eddy's grip and made for the couch, latching onto Double D. "You were shaking for an hour Double D! I wanted to give you my jacket but Eddy told me not to 'cause he said if I did you would be grossed out and you're already sick so I didn't but-" He started to hurriedly take off his jacket, "Do you want my jacket Double D?"

"N-no," he sleepily murmured, already feeling rather warm, "That's quite alright; I'm plenty comfortable right now, thank you- Mother's couch!" Double D shrieked, jumping up and throwing the blankets aside, "It's all wet and dirty… Oh she'll be furious!"

"Lay down!" Eddy was quick to throw Double D back on the couch. He fell limply onto the stained cushions, looking up fearfully at Eddy as if he had been betrayed by his friend… who threw the warm, slightly wet covers back on top of him. Ed busily tucked him in while Eddy glared down at him threateningly.

Double D looked around uncomfortably and then settled carefully back into the couch, trying to at least keep his dirty feet over the edge. Voices of reason rang inside of his head; 'Oh, the mud will take forever to remove, and the cushions must be aired out as soon as possible, lest mold begin to spot the fabric and then the entire couch is ruined!' He bit his lip at the mere thought of Mother having to throw away her beloved couch because of his negligence.

"Eddy, I must clean the…" But as he started to sit up, Eddy quickly shot a glare at him, as if to warn him that if he got up, he would be thrown back down again. "Allow me to get up!"

"No way!" Eddy placed a restraining hand on his friend's chest, "You're sick so you gotta keep warm."

Double D sighed, "At least let me change into some dry clothes? Make some tea? Take a hot bath? Anything but ruin Mother's couch!"

Eddy forcefully grabbed the blankets, forcing them against Double D's shoulders- "Would ya forget about the stupid couch for a sec?" He looked so frustrated, as if he had been worried for a very long time now.

Double D looked into his eyes and quietly asked: "Why are you being so stubborn?"

He scoffed, and turned his heel as he grabbed Ed's arm, authority stamping out every word; "Watch him," he said, "and make sure Sockhead stays here. I'm gonna make some soup."

"Sure thing, Eddy!" Ed grinned as he plopped down next to the couch, next to a confused and still somewhat disoriented Double D.

The boy sat nervously on the couch, fidgeting in his wet clothes, eyes constantly darting to the various spots of mud on the fabric. There were sounds of Eddy mumbling agitatedly to himself as he fumbled around the kitchen, looking through the pantry for a can of soup. "What's with all this… low-sodium, vegetable stuff?" Eddy's gruff voice sounded through the living room from the kitchen along with the noises of cans shuffling around on shelves, "Don't ya have anything GOOD? What the heck is OKRA?"

Double D rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the muffled voices of his somewhat ignorant friend. He shifted uncomfortably in the blankets. "I'm starting to feel very unclean," he muttered, fumbling with his clothes contaminated with mud and grass. "Ed, I must shower."

Worry glazed over the taller boy's eyes as he inched closer to Double D, as if he were ready to restrain him, "No Double D, you have to stay warm!"

"Yes, but Ed," Double D smiled knowingly, already eager to jump off the dirtied couch into a soapy sanctuary, "hot showers are warmer than couches, correct?"

"Um…" Ed blanked. It had been a while since he took a shower… "Yes?"

"That's right!" He sat up, patting his friend on the shoulder approvingly as he shed the blankets to the carpet, "I'll just be a second. Eddy won't even notice I'm gone." Ed grinned, proud of himself as he watched Double D climb the stairs. He plopped down on the couch and stared blankly at the wall as he listened to Eddy huff his way around the kitchen, slamming things around. After the high-pitched sound of the microwave beeping into action, Eddy poked his head around the corner;

"So do ya want-… ED? Where'd he go?"

"Where'd who go, Eddy?"

"Double D, you nincompoop! I told you to watch him!"

Eddy just frowned as he watched Ed panic, obviously beside himself in frustration for failing to comply to the one simple task he was asked to do. Of all things he could ask of Ed, he assumed restraining Double Dee would be the easiest thing in the world, not that Eddy thought Double D had bested his friend's strengths. He obviously just wheedled his way off the couch with his damn fancy talk. The very quiet sound of a pipe squeaking made him perk up to listen, and it also caught Ed off guard, who went very silent.

"Oh yeah, he went to take a shower."

Eddy grumped, making his way towards the stairs. The closer the sound of rushing water got, the angrier Eddy felt. He stomped down the hall with all the wrong intentions of throwing open the door, snatching Double D out of the shower and mowing him over with the outburst that was just bubbling to come out. He was just trying to be NICE, and what does he do? He just walks away and does his own thing. Why couldn't he just shut the hell up and let himself get taken care of for once. And Eddy meant it when he thought of the word "once," this was the only time he would be this goddamn nice.

Hand on the doorknob and the shower only a few feet away, Eddy tugged on the handle and the door shuddered with a loud few bangs against the frame. It was locked, but that didn't stop Double D from screaming like a sissy on the other side. A flustered voice quickly followed and then the sound of a shower curtain shaking. "Who-? I-I'm in the shower!"

"What do you think you're doing? I told you to stay on the couch!"

"EDDY." Double D's voice sounded completely exasperated. Obviously he had been expecting Ed to be on the other side; instead of acting confused and frightened, he started reflecting Eddy's emanating anger. "Just- Just leave me alone!"

Eddy was totally miffed. He pressed his cheek against the door, his hand never leaving that brass doorknob as he growled, "OH, so that's ho w it's gonna be? You LIED to me, acted like you we're gonna die, and now you're gonna diss me when I'm just trying to be a nice guy? What the hell, Double D!"

For a few minutes, his only reply was the droning sound of water hitting the bathtub. He stood there fuming as he waited, but his grip loosened and he started twisting the knob this way and that out of anxiety and boredom. Eddy strained as he heard the voice within clear his throat and quietly say, "I need to be alone for a moment."

He smacked the door as he jerked around to leave. "Fine! Take your stupid shower. But I'm giving your soup to Ed." Eddy started walking away, grumbling as he went. "Make yer own damn lunch."

The sound of the door opening had him turning around. It was more out of surprise; there was no way Double D had managed to jump out of the shower that quickly, but lo and behold, the scrawny boy standing sopping wet in a mussed robe. He stood there fiddling with the strap around his waist, trying to even it out so it wouldn't look as messy, and even as he looked up at his friend his hands were busying themselves as he adjusted the part around his neck. The entire ensemble seemed to be pasted to his pale, wet body. To top it all off was his hat, soaking up all the wetness from his hair, placed messily atop his head.

After deciding that he had tidied himself as properly as he could, Double D spared the snarl and settled with a disapproving glare. He pursed his lips and raised an accusative finger, obviously with many things to say during the duration of their little standoff but no words came out. He finally huffed and clenched his fists, tucking his arms to his waist against that sopping wet bathrobe. "I'm cold!" He said, frowning. Eddy was about to reply, probably about how stupid it was to be standing there drenched to the bone but Double D would have none of it. "My couch is a mess, and I haven't the faintest clue how long it will take to remove the stains. I haven't finished any of my chores today, I think I'm going to catch a cold, and I'm a no good wretched LIAR that betrayed a good friend's trust..."

Eddy stood at a good distance, never moving forwards or backwards, just sort of lingering while his friend vented and shivered by the bathroom. As the boy grew silent in reflection, Eddy started admiring the carpet and the walls, the word "liar" bringing up a subject teeming with discomfort. He rolled the heel of his shoe back and made for the stairs like he had meant to, once again turning his back to the spark of revelation. "Forget it then, I'll just heat it up in the microwave."

"No, Eddy,"

"What?"

"Discard the blasted soup, canned goods are not going to resolve this issue!"

"What the heck are you talking about- what issue?"

"I lied about something very important- oh, don't you remember, Eddy? You were practically heartbroken earlier."

"Heartbroken? Me? You got the wrong guy, Double D."

"Honestly, Eddy-"

"So what if you lied about it, okay?" Eddy was surprised at the word vomit that tumbled out: "Yeah, okay, you made me feel like a dumbass- ha ha!- I get it; I didn't know what being "gay" was; so what? It doesn't change anything!"

"...You honestly believe that?" It was like the air between them suddenly had a body of its own, so dense it could have been cut with a knife. The next words out of Double D's mouth really sounded far away, but very crisp at the same time; "I'm sorry, but... the root of the issue is far from its face-value. I don't think you understand-"

"You're gay."

Double D's heart jumped so high up he needed to grasp at his chest, "W-what?"

Hands in pockets, Eddy needed to sheath them to keep them from visibly shaking at his sides. "I'm not STUPID, Double D. You were out for a good few hours and me n' Ed, we talked about stuff." He had to sigh to keep from puffing out too much breath with every word. To calm down a little. "I'm not gonna say it again."

"No, please don't." His face had lit up with redness and surprise, directly linked with Eddy's accusation. Everything became incredibly silent, the only sounds being Eddy's restless fists shuffling in his pockets and the sound of water dripping into the puddle around Double D's feet. Four eyes rested on the lifeless carpet in between, never moving forwards or backwards, just lingering...

"I-"

A loud crashing noise came from below, causing both of them to jump in place. "Wasn't me!" came a booming voice to follow a series of rattles. Double D looked worriedly towards the staircase; Eddy: thankfully amused. The cold, grave sphere around them shattered by the bumbling sounds of a one-track mind from below... "Yep, the sink's broken Double D!"

Suddenly water. Rushing water.

"Oh lord!" Double D flew down the stairs and made a beeline to the kitchen, where a tower of water was spouting out from an open pipe. "Where'd you put my faucet, Ed?"

Ed was already on the counter, practicing his diving pose. "I'll get my swimming trunks!"

"It's the middle of winter, Ed!" Eddy said, almost stepping foot in the kitchen as well, but there was already a largely formed puddle creeping towards his direction. "Well, I guess if it's indoors..."

"Nobody is turning my kitchen into a swimming pool! Oh dear, first the couch then the bathroom and now this..." Double D fretted, pinching the bridge of his nose while Ed jumped down from the counter and made for the front door.

"Gonna get Rolf's chickens so they can swim too!" He said before leaving, "Don't start without us!" The crunch of snow beneath frantic footsteps was all they heard as Ed ran away, supposedly towards Rolf's to steal away some of his livestock (again.)

All the while the sink continued to fill up Double D's kitchen, the two boys that remained behind simply stood in place, one looking pitifully at the ground as it puddled up with water, the other looking at his friend with concern. Eddy whistled as he plodded noisily, his feet splashing on the water tiles as he made his way to the sink, reached out, and turned the knob. The water stopped. A look of surprise etched across Double D's face was replaced quickly with amusement. "Is it really that simple?"

"Nah," Eddy waved him off before tossing his friend a roll of paper towels, "You're just outta wack today, Sockhead."

END


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